Sunday, February 28, 2010

Beating the Habbit

Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning.

I chose not to choose life: I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got windsurfing?

People think it's all about misery and desperation and death and all that shite, which is not to be ignored, but what they forget is the pleasure of it. Otherwise we wouldn't do it. After all, we're not stupid. At least, we're not that stupid. Take the best orgasm you ever had, multiply it by a thousand and you're still nowhere near it. When you're on your board you have only one worry: wind. When you're off it you are suddenly obliged to worry about all sorts of other shite. Got no money: can't get to the wind. Got money: no wind to be found. You have to worry about bills, about food, about some football team that never wins, about human relationships and all the things that really don't matter when you've got a sincere and truthful windsurfing habit.

So why did I do it? I could offer a million answers, all false. The truth is that I'm a bad person, but that's going to change, I'm going to change. This is the last of this sort of thing. I'm cleaning up and I'm moving on, going straight and choosing life. I'm looking forward to it already. I'm going to be just like you: the job, the family, the big television, the washing machine, the car, the compact disc and electrical tin opener, good health, low cholesterol, dental insurance, mortgage, starter home, leisurewear, luggage, three-piece suite, DIY, game shows, junk food, children, walks in the park, nine to five, good at golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed pension, tax exemption, clearing the gutters, getting by, looking ahead

Relinquishing junk. Stage One: preparation. For this you will need: one used longboard which is cheap; one Chinook base for which you'll drill one hole in the longboard; one boom which you have retired or do not care if it gets scratched; one parking lot that remains calm in 0 to 100mph+ wind.

Pimpin on a NP Warp Slalom 7.0 on a 47" pintail.

What? No wind? Dark? See if you can find some gravity and Carve baby.

* Adapted from the movie Trainspotting. A must watch to understand the life of a windsurfer far from the coast. If you can't adapt your environment to you adapt to your environment.


  1. Trainspotting is brilliant.

    Meanwhile a companion message...a little simpler. As seen on a French windsurfer's t-shirt in Bonaire, 2005:

    "There is more to life than windsurfing. If you find out what it is, please tell me."

  2. Hey Puff! Glad you guys made it out of that close call unscathed!
    Experience helps to keep a cool head. And that frosty northern Atlantic too.

    I need one of those T shirts.

  3. Nice, Ralph! And don't worry- even us who live at the coast still need to shred concrete to stay sane sometimes...

  4. Nice work, I love that Eazy-E cover. Hopefully you can occasionally escape 'da hood and get some trips in to Hatteras. Adapt to life but keep your balance, and indulge as conditions permit!

  5. Awesome blog Jeff. Another cool Puff.
    You said man- keyword balance. It has been the coldest/wettest winter I've ever lived through. When the wind did come it was too cold to sail and single track was off limits except when frozen hard. Longboard skating and street sailing have been the real sanity savers. Worry not though- first warm snap we had sent me all aflutter daydreaming of 85L conditions… Yeah. I got the fever bad.